🔥 BBQ Smoking Simulator

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00:00:00
Waiting for the first beer...
🍺

♨️ Smoker Status ❓

🌡️ Smoker Temp20.0°C
🔥 Thermal Load0%

🥩 Meat Status ❓

🍖 Internal Temp20.0°C
1. ❌ Meat is UNSEASONED
Kitchen Timer
⏱️ 00:00

🤠 Chef's Vitals ❓

🍺 BAC0.00‰
🟡 Bladder0%

⏳ Pass the Time ❓

📜 Pitmaster's Ruleboard ❓

🏆 How to Win

  • Complete the 2-Phase Seasoning (Rub first, Spritz later).
  • Serve the meat when the internal temp is exactly 85°C - 90°C.
  • You must be over 2.00‰ BAC when serving.

💀 How to Lose

  • Inserting meat before applying the dry rub.
  • Inserting meat when the grill is not between 110°C - 130°C.
  • Thermal load exceeds 100% (Smoker explodes!).
  • Spritzing before 65°C or missing the stall completely (hitting 75°C dry).
  • Smoker temp exceeds 150°C while smoking (Grease fire!). Smoker temp drops below 70°C (Bacteria!).
  • Adding wood or venting heat while over 2.00‰ BAC (You catch on fire/burn yourself!).
  • Chopping wood while drunk and injuring yourself (risk starts at 0.50‰ BAC).
  • BAC hits 3.00‰ (You pass out). BAC drops to 0.30‰ (You sobered up).
  • Bladder hits 100% (You peed yourself).
v2026.07.31